Geez Adele, you could at least pretend to be an ickle lickle bit sad about your divorce to baby daddy Simon Konecki after three years of marriage.
We’re used to boo hoo songs of devastation, heartbreak and loss about every other lover, not hen party style bopping to the Spice Girls in a joyous release back to singledom.
You’ve even managed to beat Nicole Kidman’s freedom dance after her divorce from Tom Cruise and raise it to a throbbing carnival of pure ecstacy.
I mean the Spice Girls aren’t that good. Weren’t they just hastily manufactured to make money using ‘Girl Power’ as their simplistic marketing tool? They seemed just as surprised by Adele’s super stellar appearance backstage at Wembley this month in that Instagram post to her 31.8 million followers:
“Oiii last time I saw the Spice Girls at Wembley was 21 years ago! Tonight with my nearest and dearest i cried, laughed, screamed, danced, reminisced and fell back in love with my 10 year old self.’”
You were one happy bunny alright, despite being up with the nose-bleeds, as far away from the stage as possible after being chauffeur driven to the event. You’re certainly not predictable, that’s for sure.
Such public rejoicing – to The Spice Girls?! – can only send out a rather hurtful message to the ex-hubby, intentional or not.
Speaking of hitting your ex (or exes) where it hurts, what about Jennifer Lopez saying she doesn’t count her first two marriages? #!1 Ojani Noa and #2 Chris Judd don’t even get a name check during her latest behind-the-scenes tour video. The singer who’s set for marriage number four with A-Rod, otherwise known as former baseball ace Alex Rodriquez said:
”I’ve never been married in a church and I’ve been married three times, and once was nine months and once was 11 months, so I don’t really count those. But I was married to Marc [Anthony] for 10 years, with the kids.”
Does that make this only marriage number two then? The first two can be categorised under unconscious uncouplings as opposed to Gwyneth Paltrow who somehow managed a conscious uncoupling with her ex Chris Martin, he of Coldplay fame. After 12 years of marriage and two children together, Gwynnie undid her perfectly crafted divorce by describing Chris as her ‘brother’ in an Instagram post for his 41st birthday. Happy birthday indeed. Ouchie and weird all wrapped up in one big birthday surprise with a bow on top.
There’s no doubt the breakdown of a marriage can take its toll financially, mentally and emotionally but for many it’s a cause for celebration with divorce parties now a thing. For their sixth wedding anniversary, which also marked their divorce, musician Jack White and his ex-wife Karen Elson threw a bash for family and friends.
The invite read: “We remain dear and trusted friends and co-parents to our wonderful children Scarlett and Henry Lee. We feel so fortunate for the time we have shared and the time we will continue to spend both separately and together watching our children grow”. Admittedly things got particularly nasty after that between restraining orders and counter claims of bad parenting but, you know, their intentions were good, like most marriages. As the saying goes, “Whoever said money can’t buy you happiness, never paid for a divorce”.