Well this could be awkward. If a hippy is someone who rejects established institutions in search of expanded consciousness, then Prince Harry’s new flower child approach to life, as encouraged by the missus, one yoga loving Meghan Markle, is surely set to rattle those fusty old traditions of the Royal House of Windsor.

‘What’s this? Vegan paint for the nursery! We never use vegan paint in any of our royal households, whatever on earth it’s supposed to be. We’ve been using such and such gold standard paint for centuries. It’s tradition!’

You can only imagine the exchanges. Apparently Meghan and Harry have opted for a German organic paint brand Auro, which does not use dairy products or beeswax as a binder and is not tested on animals. Right on.

The carbon footprint from her baby shower alone may be responsible for the acceleration of global warming by a good one degree, but at least it’s somewhat offset by the couple’s €58,000 green energy unit at their new home, Frogmore Cottage, which is anything but a cottage, more sprawling mansion. Perhaps the punk movement was right, ‘never trust a hippy’ as Johnny Lydon from The Sex Pistols said, ‘They can be very, very greedy, those hippies’ but at least here’s a couple with a message for our times, however flawed.

Their rather stiff Instagram account recommends four children’s charities as a way of acknowledging the upcoming birth of Baby Sussex to followers willing to make a donation.

It’s a decent use of a huge platform most celebrities use to show off their bums, so we’ll give that one a like for sure.

As for Harry’s parental advice on screen time? Spoof Twitter account, Jarvis Dupont puts in succinctly:

‘I agree whole-heartedly with Prince Harry. Children should not be playing Fortnite. Instead, they should be outside riding their ponies, sailing on their father’s yacht, attending the theatre, or learning how to shoot deer and grouse with the grounds keepers’.

Possibly the gravest error so far for this royal hippy couple has been those bleed’n bananas. What got into Meghan to go writing messages to prostitutes on bananas of all the fruit in the world? ‘You are brave’, ‘You are strong’….give it a rest luv. ‘You are patronising’. Positivity culture will only take you so far before you let rip.

Still it could have been baby brain if we’re still allowed to say that.

I remember nearly knocking myself out in a carpark when pregnant by slamming the boot down on my head. Women are known to do inexplicable things when diverting all their best nutrients to making a baby. It might be best not to say that out loud in the current atmosphere.

As the due date approaches for the arrival of the latest member of the royal family, it’s clear Meghan and Harry will be doing things their own way.
In April, the Duke and Duchess put out a statement saying that they have

‘taken a personal decision to keep the plans around the arrival of their baby private’ and that they ‘look forward to sharing the exciting news with everyone once they have had an opportunity to celebrate privately as a new family’.

Perhaps that’s why they set up their Instagram account, as a way to announce the arrival of their baby. Something tells me Meghan won’t be up for a photocall, Kate style. The counter-culture has begun within Britain’s greatest institution.

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