Listen, I’m all for equality but there are some elements to this new wave of feminism that I can only say #notmetoo. That whole women supporting women shtick that you hear repeated time and time again, what nonsense! Let’s flip it for a second. Imagine if men kept banging on about supporting each other, it would sound so off:

‘When men support men, incredible things happen’. I dare you, post it on social media if you’re a man with corresponding hashtags of #boypower #boysruntheworld.

Obviously our menfolk do back each other up with masonic tightness or we wouldn’t be in this mess but it’s so simplistic to divide the genders like this. It’s patronising and implies women need to be told to behave themselves and not default to their bitchy setting, which ultimately makes them untrustworthy. It’s also ridiculously sweeping.

So Donald Trump should support North Korea’s Kim Jung-on because they’re both penises, I mean because they both have said appendage. Actually strike that, maybe some chummy ‘locker room banter’ could avoid a nuclear apocalypse and we’d all sleep a bit easier in our beds at night.

New Feminism: Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un

Hmmmn, let’s try another example…so Fianna Fáil’s Michael Martin should agree with everything Leo Varadkar says because they’re men. C’mon! Let’s stop with the women supporting women baloney.

There are loads of women I don’t want in my ‘girl gang’:

Other mothers with strict rules about parenting, female bosses who don’t believe in gender equal pay, Emily Ratajkowski’s narcissistic ‘empowerment’ – must be jealous, blah, blah, blah. Even powerful leaders like Lena Dunham don’t necessarily chime in with my ideas of feminism just because we’re female. Her character in Girls irritates me with her endless self obsession and ‘body positive’ nudity. Somehow I imagine Lena will be just fine without me cheering her on.

New Feminism: Lena Dunham in Girls

We can’t possibly all get on, us women. It’s ok. We can NOT support each and still be part of the sisterhood. Do you hear that fellas? Just like you guys, we can avoid certain people we don’t connect with and we can gather our tribe according to our tastes and ideologies, which change over time so we can pull in new people, hopefully some of them male too, for gender balance, you understand.  

We can be vocal, just like men are with each other, in disagreeing with another woman’s opinion.

Can we please stop saying this is not feminism when we bash each other? Bash away women, don’t be shy if you disagree with another woman, you can still be a feminist. It’s called a debate. Men do it all the time. We can no longer be afraid of confrontation. The cost has been too high.

Who’s in charge here anyway? Who’s the ‘girl boss’? Was there ever a more infantilizing phrase? Girl. Boss. Give me a break. First of all, unless she’s a ten year old, it’s a Woman Boss or let’s just make that boss. Do we call the majority men bosses? Also you can be a feminist and not want to Repeal the Eighth. Personally I’ll vote to have it repealed but I won’t fall out with you if you choose the other direction. Unless you fall out with me first, then I’m up for a ‘catfight’. Claws out and all that.

If there was one piece of advice I’d give my younger self, way more important than learning how to ace your exams or contouring without streaking or being likeable – it’s finding your voice, using your critical faculties and learning how to debate and speak up in meetings and defend your opinions, if they matter to you. Your opinion counts even if you’re a disagreeable old wagon.